I recently watched the Nicholas Cage film Pig, about an ex-chef who fucks off to the woods with a truffle pig and, when the pig is stolen, goes back into the city to investigate.

 

Pig is a good film, and when I was offered the chance to interview Nicholas Cage for The Last Estate, I of course jumped at the opportunity. After all, this is the guy who starred in Knowing. 

 

What follows is the transcript of that interview.

Stuart Buck: Nicholas. Firstly thanks for doing this. It’s frankly unbelievable that you would devote your time to a site like The Last Estate.

 

Nicholas Cage: Call me Nic. And you are welcome. I book my own press nowadays. I like what you guys do. 

 

SB: You are wearing a rather fetching Red Velveteen jacket today. 

 

NC: I’m filming Dracula (Nic opens his mouth and shows me his fake fangs)

 

SB: Remarkable. Tell me about the filming of Pig. And before you begin, let me just congratulate you on that. Your performance was stunning. 

 

NC: Thanks. That’s kind of you. Pig is something I’m very proud of. I think we did a great job on that movie. When I saw the script I said yes straight away. That’s not something I usually do. I don’t just take any old role you know? But Pig was special…

 

SB: It sure is. I was particularly interested in your portrayal of a chef. Or rather, a chef who decided it was all too much. 

 

NC: I think people outside that industry don’t truly understand what goes on behind the kitchen doors. I would say, alongside acting, it’s one of the hardest things to do.

 

SB: I was a chef… 

 

NC: Oh wow. And how do you think we did? I mean, in the portrayal of your industry?

 

SB: I think my experience was very different. But then, it wouldn’t have made for a good movie!

 

NC: How do you mean? I researched the role for months. Spent time in kitchens.

 

SB: I mean that professional kitchens are rife with bullying. Homophobic coke addicts throwing gravy at minimum wage workers. Insane misogyny. I developed alcoholism, a drug addiction. I still have nightmares about arborio rice. A grown man once shut another grown man in the walk-in freezer for fifteen minutes because he under-seasoned a beet salad. How long did you spend in kitchens? Long enough to see what really goes on? Long enough to see the head-chef make everyone lick a strip steak and send it back out because it got returned for being under-cooked? Long enough to see what we did to the cutlery when the head waiter didn’t like the look of a customer?

NC: No. I…Tell me about your experiences?

 

SB: Nic. Who is interviewing who here?

 

NC: I’m tired of talking about my movies. Let’s talk about you. Where did you work? Do you love food? What kind?

 

SB: All over London and the UK. I worked in the kind of restaurants you mention in the movie. I think you could have made an entire other movie about the industry. An honest one… I love food now. Back then I didn’t. Making one beautiful dish. That’s how it’s always portrayed. That’s how you portray it in Pig. One man crouched over a pan for hours trying to achieve the perfect gloss on a veal jús. But it isn’t that. It’s leaving your sleeping wife in bed at 4am to make it for 5am. It’s poaching a hundred eggs every morning. It’s cleaning plate after plate because the Kitchen Porter is sick again. It’s being screamed at by a man child. It’s screaming ‘show us your pussy’ at a 16 year old waitress every time she walks in the kitchen. It’s not what you think it is Nic. It’s not what anyone thinks. Because if you knew…fuck. You’d never eat out again.

 

NC: How do you mean?

 

SB: I mean. Kitchens break people. They make them do stupid things. The hours. Fuck. The hours man. 100 a week. You ran off to the woods. Lucky. I worked for six months once without a day off. 

 

NC: No fucking way?

 

SB: Way. I would walk home at midnight and be back in at 6am. Day in, day out. No days off. One day off. Never two in a row. For years. You couldn’t possibly understand. I lost everything. 

 

NC: I do understand. I’m a method actor. When I shot Vampire’s Kiss I slept hanging upside down. Did you know that?

 

SB: I did not.

 

NC: So we didn’t do the industry justice? Is that what you are saying?

 

SB: Nothing can do it justice. Even the super ‘realistic’ shows don’t do the industry justice. Imagine… imagine you walked onto set. And instead of sitting down and relaxing while you learn your lines, Ari Aster screams at you constantly for 11 hours until you pass out. Imagine… you go to sleep at night dreaming of the smell of your head chefs breath… his spit flicking against your lips. The way he tasted that night…

 

NC: What night?

 

SB: Forget it. Did you know chef’s are the second biggest drug takers in terms of profession.

 

NC: Who is number one (nic cage stands up and swirls his jacket theatrically. He is obviously on drugs)

 

SB: Fuckin’ lawyers man. Can you imagine waking up and deciding to free a rapist? What that must cost you?

 

NC: No… Did you enjoy Pig?

 

SB: I did. I did enjoy it. I especially enjoyed your friendship with Alex Wolff (as Amir). 

 

NC: He’s a good guy. 

 

SB: Did you form a relationship with the pig on set?

 

NC: No. Actually we ate the pig. 

 

SB: You ate the pig? 

 

NC: We ate the pig. Sounds crazy but it happens all the time. Alec Baldwin ate Winona Ryder on the set of Beetlejuice. Did you know that?

 

SB: Ate her out?

 

NC: Ate the bitch whole!

 

SB: I don’t believe you.

 

NC: It’s fucking true man. I promise. They covered it up. She had a twin and once Alec found out he ate her and the twin has been playing her ever since. Of course, her twin was a fucking kleptomaniac which caused a lot of problems as you know. It’s more common than you might think. Young girls trying to break into the industry often get eaten. 

 

SB: Have you…

 

NC: No.

 

SB: Was the pig tasty?

 

NC: Yeah. Actually I made the sauce. A bit of catsup. Some apple cider vinegar. Smoked Paprika. Molasses for sweetness. 

 

SB: Sounds good. 

 

NC: It really was…

 

SB: I ate someone once.

 

NC: For real? That’s crazy

 

SB: Yeah a friend got his foot amputated after he slipped and fell climbing Everest. He put it on ice and we ate it. Three of us. 

 

NC: Dude ate himself?

 

SB: Yeah. 

 

NC: How did it taste?

 

SB: Like pork.

Pig is available to watch on Hulu and is a solid 8 out of 10